This morning I remembered this boy I went to elementary school with. I'll call him Alex. He was one of those kids who got picked on. These are the things I remember about him: big brown eyes, corduroy pants with striped shirts, used to make animals out of the foil his lunch was wrapped in, and his mom was really sick with pneumonia and in the hospital. But the thing that stands out the most is the time our fourth-grade teacher, who I'll call Mr. Jerk, decided to pick on him and make a mockery of Alex in front of our whole class. Mr. Jerk dumped Alex's desk onto the floor in the middle of class. That poor kid. All his belongings tossed, including his dignity and foil animals .
"You're a mess, Alex " Mr. Jerk said after he dumped the desk.
As Alex scrambled on the floor to pick up the desk's contents, Mr. Jerk picked up an odd foil animal and said for affect:
"What in the world is this, Alex?"
Alex answered quietly, "it's an elephant"
The class roared.
It's funny how these stories pop into my head sometimes. I believe they come back to me to teach me something.
When life gets messy and overwhelming it has a way of dumping your proverbial junk drawer. Sometimes, I am the one who dumps it.
I remember feeling shocked and sorry for Alex. My grown up self wishes I stood up to help him pick up his stuff, but I am pretty sure my child self didn't want to face what Mr. Jerk would do to me if I stepped in.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, I'm on the floor sifting to through the contents my junk drawer. As a matter of fact, it got dumped it out a while ago, I am the one dumped it and I am growing tired.
This is my life.
It feels really mixed up right now, pretty much like the middle of chaos and my home reflects this.
Luckily, I have lived long enough to know that the part of the project (or life) when you feel like you want to abandon ship is just about the turning point when you find solution or that missing piece. The thing that let's all of the pieces relax for a bit and make sense.
Unfortunately, I haven't figured out a neater, more sophisticated way to dump out my proverbial junk drawer. Sorting through it can be messy, uncomfortable at times, and confusing. I have found staying away from folks like Mr. Jerk when I am feeling vulnerable and taking a step back to be key, though.
Now here's the junk drawer we just dumped out, our garage. Soon to be my studio & Erik's mechanic shop:
Painted & almost done!
Are you tired? I am!