at the beginning of the month i am always like yes! 30 more days of summer.
then i get to about 15 days in and... i start hearing crickets in the daytime my attempts to boost my fading tan is met with little result bedtime creeps up quicker then there's the smell in the air
Fall is just around the corner.
yeah, we can hope for an Indian summer, but we can only stave it off for so long-- that back to school feeling always sneaks up even though i've been out of school for quite some time.
i just start to feel a little down. the shifting gears and transition times are tricky for me --not always sure what to eat, my favorite summer outfit all of sudden looks drab, and even my summer-ized (sorely neglected) house is reflecting the need for the season to change. leaving me with a lot of question marks.
it's kind of a middle place, neither here nor there. it's a funky place to hang, but i have lived long enough to know that inspiration is just around the corner, new projects and new friends are there, too. i just need to trust.
it's just passing through this middle place and being ok with it --that's the trick.
i find myself more susceptible to the calls of consuming when i'm a little unsure.
i feel like i should be: buying back to school outfits for our daughter signing her up (and ultimately me) for all kinds of activities having perfectly balanced schedule and the list goes on...
it's like i've been programmed at this time of year to give up my sense of self, that always knows what's best for me, just lock in and get on a crazy train of rigorous scheduling and commitments that require my daughter and me to have a whole new wardrobe.
is it possible to not purchase a ticket to the crazy train? i'm betting yes this Fall.
when my husband decided to start working for himself this year, i followed behind him a few months after. he gave up 13 years of security. and me? 9 years. we just couldn't stay in that box any longer. then all of a sudden, it seemed so strange that our daughter would be going to school full time when our household was no longer living in that 9-5 mentality. that's when the seeds of homeschooling that had been planted a year ago started to sprout and became a reality.
do i sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and wonder if we've made the right choices? yes
do i try to convince myself taking the job offered to me twice is the better option? yes
do i question if i've got what it takes to run this household, business, and schooling? yes i am questioner. (in case you haven't noticed) always have been. i thought it might be nice for you to know, i question myself just as much as the world around me. these days it feels good that the answer to a lot of my questions is: trust in myself.