whose standards are these? and why have i adopted them as my own?

sometimes my house feels bigger than me. sometimes it feels like the walls are closing in. so much stuff. so much stuff that is not where it belongs. objects talking to me, telling me their stories; most of them good. it's a lot of input either way. it seems no matter where i turn there is something visually nagging me. when these sort of feelings and observations start to compound it always points to one thing >> i need to be grounded. <<

it's time to start thinking about how i want to spend my days, saying no a little bit more & getting my stuff in order.

when my space comes undone... i really get loose (and not in a good way). but over the years, I have found this seems to be my way; my process. this is how i keep my home.

now, don't get me wrong, i devour the articles (you know the ones) on how to keep a tidy house in 10 easy steps, how to simplify your cleaning routine and the musts about clearing clutter -- i am so there. but the truth is i'm no saint in the housekeeping department. especially according to the standards that i so eagerly read and on a bad day try to measure myself against.

whose standards are these? and why have i adopted them as my own? these are the types of questions i like to ask, because in my answers i begin to find myself. the truth is i am not a surface person. as much as i would like sometimes to be a machine who cleans her bathrooms every saturday morning and does her laundry every monday, i am not. i get deep, even about housework. i get messy. and eventually i pick up the mess. it's only when i am sick and tired of being sick and tired, do i start to make a plan and quickly employ it.

I have often said i am not doing it unless it's fun; if it's not fun i'll find a way to make it so. things have to engage me, keep my interest and seem valuable on some level. even housework. -i can hardly sit still through any contemporary movies. (i could be starting to sound like a real pill)

where to start? so once i have processed the current state of my home and come to terms with the fact something needs to be done. i start small. and make sure a safe zone is established so that when i get overwhelmed with all that is ahead of me there is at least one place in my home that comforts me (usually the bedroom). once the "safe zone" has been created, i often divide the work in unusual ways. sometimes by the feng shui bagua, sometimes by type of work, i.e., i wash all flat surfaces made of glass. crazy i know, but somehow it frees me, begins to energize me and gives me new perspectives.

once the new perspectives start rolling in, i clearly see the method to my madness and begin to love myself and my home again. and for that, my friend, it's all worth it to me. another layer to onion, as they say, has been peeled back and i am all the wiser.